science

Wasps are idiots and 5 other insects that piss me off

Summer is a beautiful season. The trees are heavy with leaves, the sun is shining, the sky is bright blue and the holidays are here.

Summer is a beautiful season. The trees are heavy with leaves, the sun is shining, the sky is bright blue and the holidays are here. Unfortunately though, it’s not just humans that thrive in these conditioned, insects also love the Summer.

On any sunny day, insects of all sizes, shapes and colour come out to play – and they seem to think that we are here for their entertainment. The problem is most of us simply don’t want to play with them. Here are 6 of the most annoying and unwanted ‘playmates’.

Wasps

Ever present when we are being most sociable, wasps love to interrupt picnics and barbecues, indeed any occasion where there’s a chance of causing major disruption. Attracted to the food, they sit where they are not wanted and can be very violent. They love to sting young children in particular, just to cause as much mayhem as they can. All wasps are idiots.

Flies

Ok, so flies can’t sting or bite… but they are really dirty and totally annoying.  Like wasps they are also attracted to food an like nothing more than to fly through our windows into our kitchens and vomit on our food. Even worse, flies are dirty because they have a liking for cow pats and other animal waste. After sitting on those, they land on our bodies and try to lick us because they are attracted to the salt in our our sweat. Gross.

Moths

I’m a bit afraid of moths anyway, and the summer months are when they are at their most abundant. Windows and doors are kept open because of the heat and moths, spotting their opportunity to annoy some humans, dive straight in and immediately become very annoying house guests. The evening air is full of bumbling moths flying erratically and bouncing off lights. And why do they always manage to get inside bedrooms and bathrooms?

Mosquitoes

High on the list of insects who don’t get much love are mosquitoes. They shouldn’t be surprised we don’t like them; they bite us, suck our blood and cause us to scratch for the next week – and we are meant to be happy about this? Furthermore, mosquitoes are selfish, they disregard the fact that we do not want itchy, swollen, red/white bumps all over our bodies… particularly in the one season we wear the least amount of clothing! seriously, what is the point of mosquitoes – would they really be missed if we exterminated all of them?

Ants

Ants seem to regard everything as an obstacle to climb over… including us and our food. They are tiny, hard to get rid of and there are billions of them. Not only is our food game, we are too, as ants dare each other to climb as far up our legs as possible while we sit innocently in the park – as if we are some kind of event in an ant Olympics!. Winged drone ants are the worst, they come out to play in the summer – and always on the same day (why is that?) They too have no respect for personal space and like nothing better than landing on bare arms and legs which becomes very annoying. Ants of the world – jog on!

Crane Flies

They don’t bite but they do fly uncomfortably close, have abnormally long legs, and make a loud noise. Maybe I just hate insects but that’s enough to bother me!

Insects are clearly important for the eco system and the balance of life and I realise that we can’t live without them. However, I do wish the wouldn’t come so close to me, especially when I’m trying to sunbathe.