current affairs

The ‘new’ Iranian jet and other propaganda fails

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Written by Nigel Simpkins

Hooray, long live the revolution; the great Iranian government has launched its latest innovation of military prowess! (see photograph above.) A super-mega-jet-powered-ultra-killer-fighter jet.

Hooray, long live the revolution; the great Iranian government has launched its latest innovation of military prowess! (see photograph above.) A super-mega-jet-powered-ultra-killer-fighter jet. It has a cockpit and wings and guns and bombs and soon will have nukes and probably has a built-in microwave for all we know. Therefore it must be real.

The Qahar F-313 looks like an awesome modern jet at first glance, but aviation experts doubt that it could fly at all, and some believe it is a propaganda mock-up. The pilot’s seat is so small that the head of the pilot protrudes over the ejector seat and his knees poke out over the side of the cockpit. The afterburner isn’t actually there, and the wheels and vents are positioned incorrectly and the cockpit has such simplified controls it looks like something out of Grand Theft Auto. It also appears in one section of (grainy) video that a flying model of the plane has had jet noises dubbed in. Not very convincing.

Also – just a small thing – the entire plane appears to have been made out of plastic.

Their AirFix model plane aside, it is claimed that the Iranians have engineered high-tech radar evasion systems and fitted them onto the very small (no, really, it’s dinky) plane, something which experts say is highly unlikely. The result of this is that the special “super-advanced” “radar-evading” jet probably ‘evades’ radar about as well as perhaps an Airedaile might (hence the photograph of Bogart, the Airedale Terrier). It is possible that this was only a demonstration of the plane’s appearance, but even taking that into account, there are serious doubts over whether the plane would fly given its shape and the poor location of various features.

The latest in a long line of Iranian propaganda screw-ups was the attempt to launch a monkey into space. Or rather, two different monkeys. Or possibly none at all (probably none). We all know the story, but it appears the image was also photo-shopped, which topped it all for me. It’s just such a shame; these days you can’t even trust the state-controlled news agencies of the world’s most paranoid governments.

There have been many propaganda fails over the years:

A Press TV (the Iranian foghorn ‘news’ channel) article entitled “Could Hurricane Sandy delay election?” accompanied by a screenshot from The Day After Tomorrow, showing an enormous tidal wave hitting New York.

Another headline: “Olympic logo: messy racist irrelevance?” This one is because apparently if you look at it sort of sideways, the 2012 Olympic logo spells ‘Zion’ and that proves beyond doubt the existence of a secret international Zionist conspiracy against Iran. Admittedly one that is intent upon leaving subtle clues about its existence in the logos of prominent international sporting events.

And finally, reports that Israeli death squads played a part in the Sandy Hook Elementary massacre, and that there was a massive conspiracy and cover up. I’m honestly not sure how they managed to find a connection there, but they did.

If you want more information on the Qahar F-313’s capabilities then here is Bogart the Airedale’s website. No I’m not joking. Seriously, look at it, it’s hilarious.

What do you think? Have your say in the comments section below, on Facebook or on Twitter.

Photo from Flickr user Lulu Hoeller.